Your packets may arrive… or not. Who knows?
Milliseconds feel like hours! Timeout guaranteed.
Two hamsters, one wheel. What could go wrong?
We lose packets so well, we should win awards!
Consistent failure is still consistency!
Your data is probably sightseeing somewhere nice.
When we break things, we break them properly.
Current: 0.001%
Current: 99.999%
* All subscriptions come with a complimentary apology email once a week.
"I've never seen anything work so badly! It's almost impressive."
"SLAZero exceeded my expectations by having no expectations at all."
"Finally, a service that's honest about its incompetence!"